Category: Book Review

This Week in Comics (My Pull List 9-24-24)

Posted on September 29, 2024 by Bruce

This week was pretty heavy with some new ones, and others I had missed from previous weeks. I’ll do a big write up on Cartoon Crossroads Columbus (CXC) next week. So this post is pure comic stuff. Some of the comments are short, sorry, about that. Some stories are harder to review without giving away too much. Other stories just don’t have as many details in them. Good guy, punches, bad guy who then punches good guy back. Ultimate bad guy get’s nervous…

I Am Stephen Hawking – Ordinary People Change the World – If you have never picked up any of these books by Brad Meltzer & Chris Eliopoulos you are missing some of the best all ages biographies ever done in a graphic novel format. It’s gotten so big that PBS has the Xavier Riddle cartoon by the same team, in the same style. Basically take a famous person, pick a trait that people should embrace and use their life to exemplify that trait. In Hawkings case it’s “Defy Boundaries.” Yes, there are some of the more adult themed arts of his (and every person’s) life that get edited. but the idea is everyone can and should do things to make the world better.

Survival Street: The Radical Left #1 – Now for something completely different. I remember picking up the first comic in the Survival Street series and all I can recall was it was something like the Sesame Street Muppets in a post apocalyptic universe… That was a while ago. This comic continues the series and obviously I have forgotten a bunch. In this case we are dealing with a dystopian America run by the corporations and if you aren’t part of the ruling elite your life and that of your family isn’t great. This issue we follow our Happy and friendly PBS based characters as they go to rescue people from a corporate work camp. unfortunately after taking them to a city that can offer them a life, it isn’t great since they are refugees. Some actually want to return back to the work camp since it was simpler… Sadly, I see this as one of the possible futures awaiting America.

The Writer #3 – Still on the road to Solomon… as everyone figures out their powers Izzy get her sword (from Grandma) as they confront more demons and finally face Solomon himself!

Star Trek Defiant #19 – As the Defiant races to save their crew from the Romulans with the help of Chief O’Brien, there are other issues going on including the realization of the fate of the Romulan homeworld as seen in the Kelvin Universe and Picard.

Night Club 2 #2 – High school aged vampire superheroes… what kind of teenage drama could occur when love is involved?

Star Trek # 24 – Can the Theseus escape Pleroma after Lore has done what Lore likes to do? How will they save everyone on the ship and at what cost?

Minor Arcana # 1 – Jeff Lemire who has written some amazing stories many of whom deal with human drama no matter what the genre. This time he takes us home to Limberlost and the story of Theresa who is back to help her mother who is in failing health. Mom is the town psychic & fortuneteller and Theresa will have nothing to do with it… or will she?

Detective Comics # 1089 – I was sad when I looked at this issue and quoted a bowl of petunias “Oh no, not again.” This is fortunately the last story in arc in which Batman and his allies go up against the evil that has taken over Gotham City. I don’t know what else to say, but it has been a long road and I’m hoping things change next issue. Like Captain America venturing into the world of the occult, I’m not sure I’m into Batman taking this deep a dive into that pool either.

Magic Order 5 # 1 – The previous 4 series of “The Magic Order” have been amazing and as this one starts out I’m just trying to figure it out. Which is kind of what happened in the previous four iterations. Kids go missing, Cordelia Moonstone and members of the magic order get called in to help… then, well things get weird.

Lawful # 4 – In a land where if you break the law you get turned into a monster it’s pretty good reason to follow the rules you’d think. Like most perfect solutions there’s a catch, if you are in a position of power there’s a way to get those horns, claws and scales removed, magically.

Helen of Wyndhorn # 5 – It looks (sadly, like this may be the penultimate issue of this series, and that makes me sad. I really have liked it, and the actual story from our time period has me guessing as to how it will tie back, since it basically just follows what happens to most collectors as they get older. Their parents sell off their collection for pennies, not knowing what it may actually contain. As for Helen, she is still trying to figure out life without adventures, which is not fun. Her governess does finally intercede, and we wait to see what happens next.

Ultimate Spider-Man # 9 – Looks like Uncle Ben and J. Jonah Jameson have gotten their news site working well. “The Paper is a success and now (with a few more Spider-Man stories) can start covering other stories that are more important to the city. While Harry and Peter try to figure out how to circumvent and Stark/Stane interference with their tech only to discover that the King Pin has put a price on their heads. Has Harry gone too far in stopping one attempt… did he not read the “Great Power, Great Responsibility… oh, and don’t kill people” memo?

Amazing Spider-Man # 58 – Tombstone goes on the rampage and is going to kill his own daughter for betraying him… Can Spider-Man stop him in time and save her? And you thought there would be no ramifications from “Gang War.” I had a nice chat with the owner of my LCS on JR Jr.’s layouts and fart. While I’m not exactly a fan of his more rough and tumble style used in Spider-Man, I do have admit, this issue a great way to show people how it is done, no matter if you like the exact style, it is a beautiful thing.

The Flash #13 – Finally we are done with some of this weird stuff and now we just need to wait for the fall out. “It’s a boy? It’s a girl? It’s a non-binary universe?” I’m guessing this will tie into the “Absolute” titles like Flashpoint cause havoc in the DC Universe before that.

Action Comics #1069 – Superman faces his final opponent in this flashback story. Can he survive? Hint: He’s Superman.

Titans # 15 – So Raven’s dark side has joined with Trigon to take over the world… or has she?

Shake of the Week-

This Week in Comics (My Pull List 9-11-24)

Posted on September 11, 2024 by Bruce

This week’s commentary isn’t much. We had Star Trek Day on Sunday- which since little is really far enough along to have something to share they didn’t need to make it an extravaganza as they had in the past. Just posting a curated list of episodes on Paramount+.

We’ve had a presidential debate in which one side is claiming victory and the other side seems to be whining about how it was unfair. I watched it. ’nuff said. It’s hard to say that the moderators were biased when all they did was say things like “no dogs were harmed in the making of this debate” and “No state allows babies to be killed after birth.” Things you wouldn’t think needed fact checking, but in a world of “alternate facts” I guess anything is possible.

Oh, the winner in the race for the most alternate facts- was the person who helped to make role of fact checking into a serious career. Which may be why the moderators had to keep commenting after he said something, and he kept needing to ask for time to comment. I guess I just wish both candidates had time to actually discuss (like sane people) their policies and how they are different, not just soundbites, and spin. Although one candidate did seem to be doing a better job of that, than the other. Just remember the cats and dogs being eaten in Ohio, someone should really do something about that, I see a cookbook coming out soon- maybe a reality cooking show- Netflix- get on that it’s a guaranteed hit.

Today we also have the anniversary of the terrorist attack that really changed the world… and not in a good way. I just remember trying to keep people up to date with the news while they were teaching, I’d send updates via email to the staff. We couldn’t say anything about it in front of the kids, but the adults needed to know.

This Week’s Comics (oh and due to shipping issues, some of these might actually be from last week):

Justice Society of America #11 (Tony Harris Variant Cover) – Helena Wayne from Earth 2 has been through a lot. Parents dead, world destroyed… typical bad day for a superhero. Now we’ve got the Legion of Superheroes visiting from the 30th century to stop Modru from not turning evil and therefore ruining the timeline. Then there’s a secret bad guy and a guest appearance by the Legion of Substitute Heroes… confused? It might all end up well in the end…

Batman #152 (Absolute Power Tie In) – So being an absolute Power Tie in, it really has nothing to do with Batman. The story does have Batman and Catwoman off planet to get Amanda Waller’s Mother Box (It’s a Jack Kirby MacGuffin from his New Gods series). There’s a fight, Batman does what Batman does. I’m torn, because I liked the way the last arc finished, and how more empathetic Batman had become, and now we are in the middle of a multi universe altering meg event, so I’m still trying to figure out if I want to continue reading Batman.

Captain America #13 – Final battle Cap vs. Death. Death who just wants to destroy the world because he is sick and tired of escorting the dead especially since mankind has become really good at killing massive numbers of people without remorse. It looks like he’s got a plan and it may work, but will he survive and be able to celebrate with a show at the Front Door?

Batman & Robin #13 – Will Damian and Batman survive their little junket to Dinosaur Island? When last we left our caped heroes they had been fighting Bane and his daughter along with Kobra who’d developed an even better venom. It’s amusing that the interludes are Damian at school going over things with his Guidance Counsellor.

Amazing Spider-Man #57 – Tombstone in Jail?!? What are the consequences for putting him there? What about last issue’s foreshadowing and the lion cub? Can Spider-Man save everyone who needs saving and bring down the bad guy? Who is the bad guy?

Primer: Clashing Colors #3 – The final issue in the first arc after her origin. Ashley has been betrayed and now must fight Deathstroke to save the Teen Titans from certain death by slumber!

Public Domain #8 – The behind the scenes story of a comic creator who ends up getting the rights to his character and now wants to publish an updated version. Will they have an ashcan done in time for San Diego? Torn from the pages of reality when Marvel Comics stopped publishing the Fantastic Four and mutants stopped existing and became inhumans in the Cinematic Universe.

The Domain #3 – See Above for the backstory, this is issue number three of the comic that is being produced in Public Domain. Three friends find a crashed spaceship take the power bands and are trying to figure them out as the only alien who was saved rolls his eyes at how stupid they are, and the crew of the ship that shot down the ship with the power bands goes after them. Just remember the aliens won’t kill you… no really they won’t.

Prodigy Slaves of Mars #2 – Edison has been framed, he’s escaped to his brother’s place, because we need two super geniuses to take care of this mess. Only to discover the secret stuff their father had been doing- now the title is starting to make sense.

Shake of the Week:

This Week in Comics (My Pull List 8-28-24)

Posted on August 28, 2024 by Bruce

After many days on the road, I’m finally getting back into the swing of being home… I’m planning on a Whimventure® for October, and another one in 2025, but really anything else is going to really be on a “Whim.” I’m playing around with a few projects around the house, including going back an getting my LEGO area in the basement reorganized, something I have been putting off as I have been focusing on comic books more than LEGO. While I don’t see that changing too much (my comics are still a bit of a mess), I do see more a bit more of a LEGO focus in my future. Nowhere near as much as when I was teaching or a member of the Indy LEGO User’s Group. I’m trying to focus, but there are some really cool set coming out in the next few months.

So last week, I was drawing a bit more, mostly just trying to get an idea or two out. I’ve been a member of the Draw or Die Club since I retired and while I may not follow the prompts that are sent out, I appreciate having that kick every morning to get me to draw something during the day. One thing I need to work more on is digital art, but I still like the feel of the pencil on paper. Then again I am lousy at inking and digital might at least help me there. That would mean i need to dust off my iPad and Apple Pencil.

So as we end August let’s see where I am in my areas of interest-

  • Drawing- I try to do something everyday, usually it’s a monkey or cartoony thing- I need to work on some sketching from real life, but then again I also need to get some cartooning projects done. I’m sure I have a comic due to FTF Geocacher soon.
  • Gaming- After Gen Con I’m really geared up for gaming, but it’s hard to find a gaming time, some changes in my schedule soon might make it easier, or harder. 🙄
  • LEGO Building- I’m working first on just getting things organized again… fewer elements just all over the place and more of them at least where i can find them.
  • Comics- At least Wednesday Mornings keep me on a schedule! After Heroes Con, I’m slowing down on buying art, but I still am fascinated by the original artwork and the various styles of the artists I love.
  • Curling Season should be starting back soon, I’ve just registered for the season with the Circle City Curling Club so expect me to “Put the rock in the house” or break something this season 🙄
  • MINIs- Well with the end of MINI Takes The States The big event is over. The other ones happen throughout the year, but unfortunately many of them overlap other things. I do need to get the classic back up and running… it’s like an albatross around my neck.
  • Geocaching- As I travel I do cache, so as long as I’m at home I might just do an event every once in a while. I do have a comic due to FTF Geocacher soon.

This Week in Comics:

Amazing Spider-Man #56 (LGY #950) – So Tombstone has it out for Spider-Man, and vice versa. After the whole “Gang War” crossover which ended up with an uneasy truce to bring down the “Big Bad” Tombstone has bee running the underworld, but the petty criminals think Spider-Man is working with him. Peter is having a great time supporting that illusion to keep complete power of the city out in flux. The comic bounces around in time, which isn’t too bad but ends up with courtroom drama, that’s just going to get more dramatic. There is also a side story dealing with Paul, MJ’s “Significant Other” as we learn more about his background to add more drama… because what is Spider-man without drama.

Captain America #12 – With the return of the Red Skull, Hydra and AIM are back firing on all cylinders, Will Cap survive the assault by Baron Zero and Batroc the Leaper?!? Wait, that’s not this story. Cap has gathered the change agents he needs to help Lyra save the world from Death…but like many good actors the question is “What’s his motivation?” This issue we get more of Death’s backstory and why we might actually sympathize with him. Curious about how this will end since Death has empowered people to stop our ragtag bunch… by promising them certain death if they don’t and only certain death if they do… OK he might not have told them that second part.

Ultimate X-Men #6 – I’m still wrapping my head around Peach Momoko’s story. Not saying I don’t like it, The artwork is beautiful, but since most comics take place with heavy western influences, having one focused so much on Japanese culture is and education, and even with the notes on the last page, I’m still going through this thinking I need to read this again once the first arc is done. One of those reasons why some comics are better as trade paperbacks or graphic novels.

The Flash #12 – See my comments about Ultimate X-Men when it comes to trade paperbacks. This arc has been weird and combining it with some of the stuff from Absolute Power makes it even more convoluted. It looks like we are coming to close and I’m still trying to figure out who the bad guys are! What seems to be happening is all the speedsters have gathered to give Wally West a big pep talk so he can do whatever needs to be done. Can you tell I just want to go back to super intelligent gorillas…

Detective Comics #1088 – Maybe the penultimate issue in this arc? Maybe? There seems to be a lot of fighting Batman’s rogues’ gallery going after the bad guys who have been controlling Gotham. It is interesting to see how each villain handles their opponent. Then we get into the whole mystical realm stuff again. Batman, like Captain America should really be more grounded in my opinion. Again with the side story that will end up being important to the big picture. I’m just wondering how, this Batman will fit in with the Batman who is currently in Batman Comics. Detective Comics Batman vs. Batman Batman, vs. Batman & Robin Batman… We knew he had a multiple personality disorder, but this might be taking it a bit too far.

Star Trek Defiant #18 – So We have Romulans being Romulans and Spock and Seal trying to figure out why… While Worf and the crew of the Defiant are trying o prepare for a Romulan invasion of Antara. An Agrarian society that seem to be lucky enough to fight off previous invaders and while the double barrel shotgun might not be much against any tech the Romulans have, a couple century old scout ships, and perhaps the most important person in Starfleet history (who happens to allergic to cats) might help them out.

Rogue Sun #21 – Some fighting, some more fighting, some character and plot development. Rogue Sun continues with his plan to take out Mourningstar which for a teenager seems like the logical and easy thing to do. To get there Dylan has a few things to learn (a lot of things to learn). He and Divinity are taking out one bad guy, while we learn that actions have consequences, and that even spirits know that sometimes teenage girls need to hear what they want, and not the whole truth. Now we lead into a murder mystery… I think the butler did it, except that there is not butler to be found.

Once & Future – Pen & Ink #1 – One of my favorite comics “Once and Future” has British mythology and Arthurian legends intertwined with the modern world… frankly, it is awesome and if you have a chance to pick up the trades I would. Your local comic shop (like Comic Carnival in Indianapolis) should be able to get them for you. What I have though is kind of a “Director’s cut with commentary Kieron Gilles and Dan Mora add comments on the first issue. These pages bring out a noir feeling to the story and I know I’ll be rereading this a couple times, not just the text, but insight into how it was all put together.

The Rocketeer Breaks Free #2 – Cliff, Bettie and Peevy enjoy a lovely vacation in San Francisco. I sure hope Cliff and Bettie visit the Cartoon Art Museum while they are there. Unfortunately, Cliff brought the rocket pack and now is in hot water for being the hero… Not really, but Bettie was hoping more “us time” less “hero time.” Sadly, the Germans aren’t listening to her and the Golden Gate Bridge seems to be the target!

Nemesis Rogues’ Gallery #2 – Nemesis is back and this time we get the story of how he recruited Robin to help him fight crime… no, how he recruited “Rookie” to help him commit crime. The Ultimate anti-hero is back and now he’s brought a sidekick.

This Week’s Shake

One thing the app I’ve been using has is a shake feature. Basically shake your phone and one comic from your collection will pop up at random. It also allows me to scan barcodes to put issues into my collection. While I’ve been culling my collection, I still need to go through and cull what I have on my phone. It currently says I have 5,719 issues. C’mon you knew I had a lot of issues, but probably not that many 🙄. Today I did a shake and this popped up. Crimson by Humberto Ramos. Published from 1998-2001. The story of a teenager who becomes a vampire, but is also “The Chosen One” destined to bring an end to vampirekind. I started reading it after enjoying Ramos’ work on Impulse. I even own a page he drew for Strange Academy. I still follow what he does and try (if I remember) to pick up his newer work – Like Spectacular Spider-Men.

Never Judge a Book by its Movie – Ender’s Game

Posted on November 2, 2013 by Bruce

Please note that there probably are spoilers in the following and this is my recollection of the film Ender’s Game that I saw last night, way past my bedtime, so I may not recall everything is extreme detail.

Last night I joined some friends to see “Ender’s Game” I’m not going to go into anything dealing with the author of the original story’s rabid political rantings- I don’t agree with anything he has to say on those points, I really don’t want to discuss the person, I’d much rather go into the movie and the book Ender’s Game.    As for Ender’s Game it is a story I picked up in 1989 after listening to the author speak coherently about literature and pop culture.  Over the years I picked up a few other books by this author, but none of them really hit me like Ender’s Game. I even had gone back and found the published copy of the original award winning novella just to see the original format of the story. So for year’s I have been a fan of this story- which when seeing a modern film version of a story written around 30 years ago can be a bad thing… a very bad thing.

Some basics – the Earth has been invaded by the “buggers” they were fought off and now to prepare for the second invasion children are tested (Oh the horror of futuristic standardized testing) to see if they have military aptitude.  Those “lucky few” are sent off to Battle School in orbit to learn the art of war.  After initial training students are placed into armies lead by other students and compete in zero-g battles to put their leadership and tactical skills to the test.  Those that succeed graduate. Ender Wiggin is sent up because he has a high midichlorian count and may be “the one.”  He goes through various trials in order to test him and finally… well you know the hero’s journey.  Originally a Hugo & Nebula award winning novella- the author turned it into a series of novels, and then another series of novels telling the story from different character’s points of view.  Then he turned it into a comic series and started writing some of the missing parts and history… I’m not even sure how many books are in the series now.

I know many people who swore they wouldn’t see any of the Harry Potter films because it would ruin the picture they had in their mind of the setting and the characters. I found myself wandering around London on my first trip looking for the actual locations mentioned in the book so I could visualize it better. (Note that some places used in the Harry Potter films are not the actual locations sited in the book- just sayin’) So when it comes to Ender’s Game I read it when I first started teaching kids who happen to be around the age of Ender in the book. Ender (in the book) was always considered small and youngish.  He stood out from the crowd in this way- or at least that’s the way I imagined him.  The film does not portray him as such. I could nitpick through the film, but for me this was one of the major points that threw me- these are supposed to be children and while they were younger and were “children”, they were older than I had ever imagined.  Tweens or even teens… is that the audience they are pushing for?   While watching the film I kept waiting for Petra and Ender to have some childish romantic moment- something that never came to mind when reading the book.

The film itself seemed rushed- It was like they couldn’t understand that Ender was in Battle School for not just 30 days. He dealt with a bunch of commanders before being given his own army. (The novella starts with Ender training his army after first being given command, the character Bean is introduced there.  The movie has Bean as his first friend on the transport to Battle School.  Now I’ll admit Bean was an important character (important enough to have his own book or two), but in the book he was the one Ender picked on initially, he was the one Ender trusted in the end because (pardon the pun) they were two peas in pod.  He suddenly appears in the the transport Ender is on?!? no no no no… this kills Bean’s backstory.  Don’t even get me started on Ender’s first nemesis – Bernard.  He was a minor character, he was a bully who Ender embarrassed and really wasn’t important after that.  Having him become one of Ender’s chosen few?  Bringing him to help Ender at the end?  no no no no… I barely got to know, let alone care, about any of the characters before the film was over.  and while many of them were important to Ender at some point in the book, with the exception of Petra, many of the characters considered Ender’s trusted few, were difficult to figure out how they formed such a tight bond with him.

So much of the book took place in Ender’s head (like Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone) that it is difficult to know the title character, therefore love the title character in the film.  It also seemed like they tried to take some parts from the novel to “humanize Ender” but dropped an entire other plot line that demonstrated the brilliance of Ender’s siblings.  Then again those plot points (let alone Ender’s siblings) don’t show up in the original story.  The whole surprise ending really didn’t seem like that much of a surprise (but then again- I read the book), but then again maybe it was because this was the point of using special effects, where in the book they were dealing with 1980’s vector graphics.

I know I seem to be focusing on the issues I have with a beloved book being put onto the silver screen, as for positives- it was well acted, the special effects were glorious if you like explosions and spaceships. I just can’t say much about the story because I’m obviously too close to it.  So as for the story, I recommend you not spend the large sum to see it in the theater ($12 for a movie ticket? Really?!?!) but go to a used bookstore or your local library and pick up a copy. If you absolutely want to see the film version because you are illiterate, or something like that- wait to see it on DVD or Netflix.  I know if I decide to have a second viewing it will be when I don’t have to buy a ticket.

—

Ender’s Game is on a short list of books that I reread (& reread) when I need to escape kind of like putting on a comfy sweater. They are-

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams

Dream Park by Larry Niven & Steven Barnes

The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman

Another Fine Myth by Robert Aspirin

Harry Potter & Philosopher’s Stone By J.K. Rowling

The Brave Little Toaster by Thomas Disch

I’m sure there will be others and I might have missed a few- since I didn’t even list any comics.

Tales from the Long Box… “Truth, Justin, and the American Way”

Posted on February 6, 2011 by Bruce

I decided when I started cleaning out a bit that I should go back and reread some of those comics that I decided to keep. So as I go back a reconnect with some of the “good stuff” or at least weird, strange, stuff that I decided I needed regardless of it’s value.  I know I still have a few boxes that I’m cataloging in hopes that they will find a good home.  Ben (when will I get another comic to him to color?) took a full long box of stuff.  For those not in the know a long box is the large cardboard box specifically designed to hold comics (around 200).   My hope is that every once in a while I will go back and review some titles or story arcs.  This week it’ll be…

Issue #1 of Truth, Justing and the American Way

Title: Truth Justin & the American Way

Published: 2006 by Image Comics

Writer: Aaron Williams & Scott Kurtz

Art: Guiseppe Ferrario

Why I picked it up originally: I was reading PVP and was hearing about this comic project… decided to give it a try.

Why I kept reading it: It tugged at my nostalgic side… for the dopey TV of my childhood.

The story (spoilers included, though I’ve tried to keep them to a minimum): Basically it starts off as a take off of “The Greatest American Hero” one of my favorite TV shows growing up.  If you look at the basic storyline guy finds alien suit that gives him great powers if he can figure out how it works… general hilarity ensues.  What the comic does is not only twist that basic story, but also infuse it with enough TV references that it not only brings you back to that time, but also makes you try to hunt through the dialogue and art for easter eggs. I won’t give any away here, but some are as simple as the cover being a homage to a movie from that period.

Character wise they seem to be stereotypes (just like when I was a kid)- Justin is your typical nice guy, loser, klutz just trying to get through life and be happy. The plot moves from mishap to mishap with everything being tied up in a nice little box at the end.  A simple story about simpler times, when good guys were good guys and bad guys were either the government or communists.  If I wanted to be all scholarly I could go through how this follows the basic steps of  Campbell’s “Hero’s Journey”  Justin leaves his life of goofiness and by the end of the story has matured and as we go issue by issue does end up becoming a “hero.”  The format of 80’s sitcom doesn’t always lend itself for this kind of analysis so I’ll leave it there- he grows up (a bit).

This was a five issue series looking at the basics plot points in each issue-

Issue 1- Character introductions, getting the suit and not understanding what is going on.

Issue 2- Bachelor Party, antagonist shows up, gratuitous destruction, flashback & Justin’s confrontation with his fiancée

Issue 3- Destruction, introduction of minor adversary, & cliffhanger ending- calling the wedding off?!?!

Issue 4- Fiancée captured by the government, we learn a few more things about the suit, and the “Justinmobile” is born, ending with rescuing the princess…

Issue 5- The wedding, aliens, destruction, comedic ending with appropriate just desserts served.  Leading to the typical 80’s to be continued…

So why’d I keep it? I really can’t say… there are times (when it’s snowing or raining) and you just want to read a fun story that you can lose yourself in- this is pretty close to that.  Best story ever?  No, but in a classic Mad magazine kind of way it did make me feel like a kid again, and made me want to hunt down some episodes of “The Greatest American Hero.”

I really need to decide on a clever rating system to put here… oh well, maybe another day.

Literary Review Step by Step – Chapters 17 to 24 including the Exciting Epilogue!

Posted on January 24, 2010 by Bruce

So 348 pages into this book and finally, finally we start getting into the actual conflict (besides does Edward like me?).  I could go through this chapter by chapter, but at least the last 100 pages started to get more interesting.  A little more interesting.  I’m not going to waste your time with pesky details I’m just going to dive right into it with a general summary and commentary.

Edward finally introduces himself as Bella’s boyfriend.  A storm arrives giving the Cullens a chance to play baseball which ends up going all wrong.  During the game another clan (coven) of vampires arrives and one of them decides that Bella would make a wonderful midnight snack.  So James starts hunting Bella just because he’s looking for some fun.  The Cullens panic and try to figure out what to do-  Bella comes up with a plan.  Breaking off from her father (in a brief screaming session about how she hates everything about Forks- which was exactly what she was saying at the beginning of the book) she runs with Jasper & Alice to Phoenix to hide out.  So now Bella is away from Edward – Oh the heartbreak, the trauma.  So while the rest of the Cullens are trying to throw this “tracker” off the scent (and as we found out before Bella really stinks) Bella hides out.  Amazingly enough the bad guy (yup! over 350 pages and we finally have a bad guy) figures out where Bella is and as Bella is trying to figure out what Alice is seeing in her visions.  Bella in the tradition of the paperbag princess gets a call from her “mom” and decides that the only way to save her from the bad vampire is to escape her protectors.  As James, the bad vampire, says “this was too easy.”  She is (shock of all shocks) led into a trap and as the villian monologues about how he actually was doing this as revenge for not being able to eat Alice decades ago (Where did that come from?) Bella is a goner… yup! she’s dead- end of book, that’s it show’s over, time go home, nothing else to see…

But wait!  This is a romance story-  so Edward and everyone in the cavalry show up and take out the big bad vampire (off camera while Bella is unconscious) and poor innocent Bella has been bitten by a vampire!  Oh joy!  She can now be with Edward forever!  Nope- not this time.  See according to this mythology, vampires carry with them a toxin so if you aren’t killed in three days (three painful days) you then become a vampire.  Well Bella starts screaming about pain and Edward does what anyone would do when it comes to a snake bite- he sucks out the venom… Yes 400+ pages and Edward finally gets to suck Bella’s blood like any normal decent vampire.  C’mon haven’t these guys read the manual on vampires?  Bella is saved by Edward and remains human (much to her chagrin).  James is destroyed (or is he?) the only way you can really kill a vampire.  Cut the vampire into tiny pieces then sauté in holy water with a sprig of garlic until burnt to a crisp- serve over brown rice… or something like that.

So Bella is hurt (badly) recovering in the hospital. Edward is blaming himself (teenage angst- it isn’t all about you). Bella wishes to become a vampire so she can be with Edward forever… (it’s gonna happen, just a matter of time-  I’m guessing at the end of her 7th year at Hogwarts).  The story the silly pathetic humans are told is that Edward flew down to talk with her (after she broke up with him) and while walking to his room she tripped (so far makes sense) and falls down a series of steps gaining enough momentum to crash through a window… and that’s my story & I’m sticking to it.

As the story ends, Bella ends up at the prom (I remember my prom… oh the pain, the agony, why couldn’t I have just been turned into a vampire it would have been mush more enjoyable) and meets up with young Master Foreshadowing in the guise of Jacob Black (aka Remus Lupin) to deliver a warning about the the moon and the moors or something.  Bella is still hoping to be turned into a vampire… but Edward is still against it.  He just wants her to be human and have all the experiences (like the prom) that humans have (gosh, what a thoughtful bloodsucking monster). So as the sun slowly sets (“Twilight” folks) Edward and Bella are together ready to take on whatever this crazy world throws at them, (aliens, let it please be aliens) two love struck kids- setting out to conquer the world (they’re going to need laser guns, and robots, giant robots… with missiles and a jet pack).

—

In conclusion- good book?  meh.  Definitely not the worst thing I have ever read… but if I wasn’t doing this review I might have stopped before the bad vampire showed up.  I think too much time was spent building the relationship between Edward & Bella (yup, it’s a romance novel) and more could have been spent with the final conflict.  If this James was really evil and a tracker I would have thought, like a cat, he would have wanted to “play with his food” a little more than he did.  Even changing the point of view to Edward’s as he was pursuing James… I think that might have added more thrills to the end, which really was a let down.  Part of it is reading a series and knowing that everyone ends up OK since there are more books in the series, it is hard to feel any suspense when you know that there are only a few thousand pages left in the story.

Looking at this through the lens of the Campbell’s Hero’s Journey with Bella as the hero- this doesn’t fit, she really doesn’t to much in the way of growth or change.  The only difference is instead of a whining teenager she has become a whining teenager in love with a vampire.  Even with all the “character development” taking the majority of the story, I can’t say I really cared about the characters.  Harry Potter books- I cared about what happened to the characters and wanted to know what happened next.  Orson Scott Card’s Ender’s Game I was overjoyed when I heard the next book came out and even went back to read Ender’s Shadow to see the story from a different point of view.  This story? Not so much.

Some have suggested that I read the next book in the series since it is better, I’m going to veto that and move on to the final Young Hoosier Books I need to finish along with some others.  I can say I’m happy that I read this so I have an idea what everyone has been talking about but…

Recap on Twilight Vampire Mythology:

  • Vampires cannot die (unless they are torn into little pieces and set aflame)
  • Vampires have superpowers like super hearing, super sense of smell, super speed, invulnerablity, etc.  There was no mention of heat or x-ray vision.
  • Vampires have a venom that unless you are completely drained of life- seeps through your circulatory system (feeling like you are on fire) and within 3 days you are dead and therefore a vampire.
  • While vampires can move quickly they cannot turn into bats, fly, turn into mist, etc.
  • A group of vampires is called a coven (I thought that was a group of witches). Some are good (like Carlisle’s) some aren’t (that would be James’)
  • Vampires do not eat human food (not even Count Chocula cereal)
  • Crosses, and other religious stuff like holy water- nothing, no effect.
  • Garlic- besides smelling no effect either- doesn’t even mask Bella’s odor.
  • Light doesn’t really bother Vampires it just makes them sparkle like a disco ball- and unless you are in certain cities in California this can bring unwanted attention to you.
  • Werewolves aka Native Americans are the natural (supernatural?) enemies of Vampires. No Dracula & the Wolfman team-up.

From what I understand like the old Universal Monster Movies each book will cover a different monster.  So New Moon deals with Werewolves. Eclipse could also be called “Edward & Bella meet Dr. Frankenstein”.  Breaking Dawn is just a remake of “Dawn of the Dead” with zombies invading Fork… Remember “Kill the Brain & you kill the ghoul.”  Next in the franchise is Breakfast (at Tiffany’s) where the newlywed Bella & Edward head to New York and deal with mutant alligators in the sewers.  Midday Sun our loving pair meet up with the Mummy while in Cairo. To end the series we have Tea Time- Edward & Bella finally confront the strange groundskeeper who with his dying breath says “I would have gotten away with it- if it wasn’t for you meddling kids…”

Literary Review Step by Step – Chapters 15 & 16

Posted on January 24, 2010 by Bruce

It has been a while since I picked up Twilight–  so that might tell you something about my feelings towards the book (trying to keep an open mind- really I am).  So when we last left our daring band of adventurers they had escaped the orcs and were finally heading off to drop the ring into the volcano, but Frodo wasn’t feeling that well.

Chapter 15
Bella had returned from a day with Edward in the woods where he displayed his many talents…  He then spent the night watching over Bella.  Today after her father reconnects the battery cables to her truck (afraid she was going to run off) they head over to meet Edward’s “family.”  Having gone through the whole meeting your girl friend’s parents thing I tell you it can be rather stressful.  So Edward is a little shocked when it is the whole meeting the family thing that Bella is concerned about not the meeting my family who happen to be vampires.  Everyone present is very polite and Edward takes her on a tour of the house .  As this chapter closes Bella is about to find out the origins of Carlisle the head vampire. Myth busted – Crosses no effect. because…

Chapter 16
Carlisle has to head to the hospital so Edward has to tell the story instead (which is fine by Bella).  It seems that in the 1600’s Carlisle lived in England the son of a pastor.   He lead groups persecuting roman catholics and stumbled upon a group of vampires living (you call that living?) in the sewers of London.  As the charge (torches, pitchforks, the whole 9 yards) the vampires attack and get Carlisle.  He escapes and turns into a vampire.  He attempts to kill him self countless times discovering that it is a lot harder than he thought. He leaves England heads for France learns that he can drink the blood of other animals , not just humans.  Hangs out in Italy for a bit decides to focus on medicine and healing.  Heads to the new world where after years & years gets lonely and turns edward into a vampire right before edward was going to die of Spanish influenza.  The rest we have learned in previous chapters.

Presently Edward is trying to get Bella to formally introduce him as her “boyfriend” especially to her father… I’m not sure how that will turn out.  there is also another group of vampires heading this way who don’t follow Carlisle’s diet plan. (I finally see some action on the horizon.  Though I could be wrong.  With only 150 pages to go- something has got to pick up in this narrative.

Literary Review Step by Step -Things start to heat up?!?

Posted on January 5, 2010 by Bruce

Bella and edward are talking and seeing more of each other with Edward driving Bella to school so one day as edward drives her back and they “talk” losing track of time…

Chapter 11
Edward & Bella head off to Biology where they get to watch a film!  I was able to track down the movie for those interested.

Then it is time for Bella to head to Gym.  When they see each other afterwards (trumpets play and angels sing) Bella gets mad because Edward was watching her (by piggybacking in someone’s mind).  They leave school after Bella proves that she is auto-illiterate by not recognizing that Rosalie’s red convertible was an M3 (can you believe it- what are they teaching in high school these days?) Edward drops Bella off (so sad) and leaves in a hurry  as her dad and Billy & Jacob Black arrive to mend fences and watch the game.  It seems the Jacob’s dad was a little upset when Bella’s dad did absolutely nothing to save the population of his small town from vampires infesting the local hospital.  What a grouch.

Chapter 12
So the evening goes fairly well  and now it’s Friday!  So this weekend Edward and Bella are going to… do something- I guess.  They talked about Seattle, they’ve talked about other things… my how they have talked and talked.  Since Edward has been asking Bella question upon question-  Hint- this is a strategy that does sometimes work- high school boys out there… ask questions and seem as interested in the answers as possible not matter how inane they may be.  Of course we know the issue still is Bella hasn’t said a word to her dad about this. Umm… Hello?  This is a small town and your dad is chief  of police?  You don’t think he already knows?  He’s probably planning the wedding (Woo hoo!  My little girl is marrying the son of a doctor who has lots of money!).  So Saturday morning finally arrives and Edward and Bella head off to the land of adventure!  Bella’s dad goes fishing.

Chapter 13
We learn what vampires look like in the sunlight (think disco-ball, just not as round), and why Edward avoided  school after Bella first arrived.  It has something to do with bathing, or that fact that Bella stinks- then again so does Edward.  The scientific term would be more like pheromones.  So Edward opens up to Bella about how he really wants to open up Bella and how he thinks a little mint jelly might help.  There’s a lot of testing Edward’s limits to see when he might take a bite- not a safe thing.  And we end as they head back from Edward’s happy place (a sunlight filled glade miles off the road- nice place for a geocache) hopefully they will make it home in one piece.

Prediction: They will make it back in time for the big dance and they will spend a romantic evening (trumpets & angels again) sipping bland punch (O positive) and swooning in the heady vapors each of them emits.  Bella’s dad decides to give up the Police force and become a crab fisherman (or at least that’s what the hastily written note in his own blood said) and is never seen again.

Literary Review Step by Step – A few more chapters smushed together.

Posted on January 2, 2010 by Bruce

So when last we left Bella she was full of teenage angst and Edward had just said he would (oh joy!) drive her to Seattle so she would not have to deal with the school dance.

Chapter 5
So Bella is now talking to Edward… he’s even sitting with her at lunch (gasp!) The big event for this chapter we find out that Bella faints at the sight of blood.  Mike (one of the boys who has a crush on Bella) escorts her to the nurse after she faints in biology class (a class the Edwards skips this day… hmmm.) Edward intercepts them and convinces the nurse that she should go directly home. The knight in a shining Volvo!  They talk and Bella tell him one of her theories dealing with radioactivity and a spider bite. Remember radioactivity + accident = superpowers.

Chapter 6
Bella goes to the beach with all the other kids and meets Jacob Black from the reservation-  She learns that the Cullens are not not allowed to step foot on the reservation since they are the “cold ones” and the reservation is for the people of the wolf.  So finally Bella starts putting things together.  Lots of teenage issues with who sits next to whom and that kind of stuff.

Chapter 7
Bella gets home and complains (which seems to be all she ever does) about the dial up Internet speed. She does find a site  dealing with vampires (remember folks if it is on the Internet it must be true) and starts researching.  At school she finally explains to Mike that Jessica likes him so he should bug off – See boys at this age tend to not see the forest for the trees.  They get fixed on one girl and ignore that the one next to them is nice and doesn’t complain (all the time), and likes them so they can fawn over the one that is too self-abosorbed and fawning over someone else (named Edward).  Bella gets invited by Jessica to go shopping for dresses for the dance (even though she isn’t going) and she decides, since Edward has vanished again, to join them.

Chapter 8
The girls all head into Port Angeles to go shopping and have dinner.  Bella decides to head off on her own to a book store and almost gets assaulted by a group of guys who do not have the noblest intentions.  Edward comes flying out of the darkness in his silver Volvo to save her.  They go out to dinner and he drives her back home.

Chapter 9
Finally the big reveal… Edward admits that he’s not from Krypton and that his great great grandfather was Vlad the Impaler.  Not really- Bella and Edward talk and he admits he’s a vampire and discounts some of the mythology of vampires.  Edward also goes into how he can read others thoughts but not hers.  He also explains why Bella should stay away and shouldn’t go out into the forest alone- there are dangers in the forest.  So after 195 pages of build up the stage is set with only 2/3 of the book to go.

Sometime during this section Bella decides that it doesn’t matter who or what Edward is that she is madly in love with him and all that matters is that they are together.  (Oh no this could be a bad thing)

Literary Review Step by Step – a couple chapters smushed together.

Posted on December 26, 2009 by Bruce

I am sorry but with the holidays I have been reading, just not commenting on the wonderful piece of literature I am reading.  Once again this is a chapter by chapter breakdown of Twilight by Stephenie Meyer.  I am trying to figure out what the big deal is.

When we last left our heroic band of adventurers they were about to be eaten by giant rats…

Chapter Two
Let’s make this one quick- Bella is hoping that the strange kid in her Biology class isn’t rude to her. Life is miserable, She has these boys in competition over her, but not the right boy. You have got to love teen angst. Edward (the strange kid from Biology) doesn’t show up to school for a few days- Bella starts to get concerned that she did something. When he shows up his eyes are are some strange yellow color and he is polite. (I think he’s one of the pod people now) Bella is confused but pulls through by showing Edward that she is smart on a Biology Lab. Bella also thinks that every time Edward leaves school he is laughing at her.

Chapter Three
Oh no! How could things get worse? Snow and ice- Bella doesn’t know what to do. She heads out to school and things go well. When she arrives she finds out her dad had put chains on her truck. As she looks at the chains thinking that it was a nice thought a van pulls into the parking lot out of control and squishes her like a bug. The End.

No, of course not, that would be a very short multi-million dollar movie. So suddenly Edward is standing next to her and pushes her out of the way of the speeding van and uses his body to block the impact. Bella realizes what has been going on as she is taken to the hospital to be examined. As she asked Edward how he saved her, he calmly says that he was standing next to her the whole time. We all know what really happened. Edward was rocketed to Earth from his home planet of Krypton right before it exploded. Now Bella has to figure out where she can get her hands on some Kryptonite to prove her theory. After Edwards denies it and finally breaks off all civil communication with Bella we know something is up.

Chapter Four
Weeks have passed- Bella is once again miserable- Why won’t Edward be nice to her? Once again guys- this trick works in the movies- not in real life. Unless you have worked years to be labelled a “Bad Boy” and time it just right so the girl in question has something to prove- you’ll probably just end up alone.  Then again, following a girl around like a little lost puppy dog also doesn’t work (I speak from experience).
So Bella is miserable… and she has all these guys hanging on her every action hoping that she will invite them to the school’s Spring dance. She turns down suitor 1, arranges for suitor 2 to get asked by someone else, and turns down suitor 3 (the guy who hit her with his van). Telling them all that she has plans to go into Seattle that weekend. Edward comes to the rescue and offers to drive her to Seattle because he is afraid her truck won’t make it (See I told you the truck would play a part).

That’s where I’ve ended off and I am still thinking that this is just a weird adaptation of the Superman story. Instead of Smallville Kal-El’s rocket crashed into the woods in the Pacific Northwest. I guessing the other kids in Edward’s “Family” are actually Kryptonians rescued from the phantom zone.

My Prediction: While driving to Seattle, the dam is going to burst causing Edward to show that he has powers far beyond those of mortal men.  Bella, unfortunately, will not survive, causing Edward to fly around the Earth so fast that he will change time and save Bella.