Those who know me tend to be surprised if I mention or discuss sports of any kind. I find that competition tends to bring out an ugly side of most people. This past weekend I participated in a bonspiel, “The Shamrock Spiel,” a “friendly” tournament that lasted two days with 5 matches for each team. It was presented to me as a way to get to know other people in the club and have fun. The idea was to even out teams is to have two new curlers paired with two experienced curlers. I signed up as part of my “jumping in with both feet” belief even though (I did the math) I had only curled around 8 days* before… brave or just stupid?
Let me start off defying a core issue I have- I don’t take praise well… you see I was raised by someone who could and would say the nicest, kindest things to someone’s face and the minute she thought they were out of earshot say what she really meant which was neither kind, nor nice. I learned growing up that people lie. So when you compliment me, I tend to smile, nod, say ‘thank you” and think you mean the exact opposite. Curlers are extremely nice and compliment people on their shots, especially new curlers, even when they aren’t that great. They look for the silver lining which I like, but (see above). I do appreciate how no matter what team you are on, everyone says something positive to a player when they do something even moderately well. I’m concerned that like when I tried golf I’ll be the last one picked or the one that no one wants on their team.
Combine this with the fact that I actively avoided sports growing up… you see my older brother was the gifted athlete. My mother would compare us in some crazy competition in her head and as they said in War Games – “the only winning move is not to play.” So I didn’t. I drew, I read books, I was an above average student who didn’t really try that hard. When I tried to participate in sports I usually made a fool of myself and my team mates would laugh at me.
So now at 58 I’m competing in a tournament in a sport I just started to learn. My team had been doing well, but missed winning by the narrowest of margins. At the end of Saturday we had lost all three of our matches, two by just 1 point. Sunday we actually won one, but in the end conceded our last one because with one end to go there was no way we could win. We ended the Spiel with one win and four losses. I went home- tired, and sore and deciding that maybe a casual league is the better place for me at least for now, if not forever… I just can’t get that competitive and like myself when the day is over.
It was a great social event, lots of food and talk (Yes, I’m an introvert so it was draining trying to be even slighty an extrovert) I’m getting to know more people so it isn’t completely horrible and I tried to sit in on conversations. One thing that helps is “Broom Stacking” which occurs after a match. The winners buy a round for the losers (we ended up with a lot of drinks being purchased for us. Tables are set up in the warming room so that everyone who played can sit together. I kind of wish I had started with beer a lot sooner, maybe I would have been less stressed. The worst part was when we actually won… fortunately someone else took care of the drink for the person I was supposed to buy for, since I remembered after too much time had passed.
Sue came out to watch our last match on Saturday evening and noticed a couple things:
First, she asked when will I graduate and not have to wear a helmet? I wear a helmet since I fell in one end while sweeping and ended up with a slight concussion. You see in my flight I’m one of two people wearing head protection. The other flight has a bunch, but mine- it’s just two of us. The other flight also has stick curlers in it… mine, nope. I’m not sure but I think the other flight might be less competitive and having more fun.
She also noticed how there wasn’t one way of curling. Sweepers did it differently, players delivered the stone each in their own unique way. Except, me… I’m always doing it the wrong way. 🙄 I noticed that of the group I started with in the Rookie League there are maybe five of us playing in the spiel. What happened to the 40 some odd people who started with us?
She took a picture of me delivering a stone and wondered if I was actually watching the stone when I delivered it or if I was looking at the ice… I blamed my helmet for obscuring my face… but on Sunday made a conscious effort to figure out what I was looking at. (sometimes it was the ice, sometimes it was the stone.
Even though it was a “fun” “friendly” event- In my vast experience in sports, players can be put into groups (this actually fits in with almost any activity and yes, there are shades of gray- 50 if I understand correctly.):
- Elite professionals in curling’s case Olympians or those that compete at a national level.
- People who take it seriously and are competitive. They tend to be this way in every aspect of life and are interested in more than one sport. “GOOOOO Sports Team!” These are the ones who practice every moment they have. Read books, watch every video they can, they want to be Olympians or at least the best in their region, age group, club…. I’ve noticed that even in a “fun” event they have stopwatches out to time their deliveries and be speak in a shorthand. These are the people who have a lot of fun when they are winning. It was amazing how some teams had “new” curlers who were pretty good with the shorthand and how to understand the numbers being thrown out by those with stopwatches. There is a “Competitive League” on Mondays for many of these people.
- People who play for fun. They are in a sport for the social aspect. Win or lose it’s a game. They could be really good, but what matters most is just being around people who like the sport.
Mixing these people can be interesting… You know two new people and two experienced people. If the experienced people are 2’s and the inexperienced people are 3’s it could frustrate someone. A team of 3’s having a blast while a team of 2’s counting down deliveries.
For me, the biggest issue as a new player is I try to incorporate suggestions when they are made, if I notice I did something wrong I compensate the next chance I get. Umm… so Saturday night when I’m told my first rock was too heavy, I try to throw lighter, except that they wanted me to throw a heavy rock to take out another stone! I feel like I am the weakest link, because I am. My skip even commented after giving a “pep talk” that he shouldn’t give pep talks anymore since I royally messed up afterwards. I’d like to get better, but I have to find the time to practice, you’d think that would be easy… it isn’t. Practice time is either when I have league or after the evening league is over which is way past my bedtime.
When I was growing up my parents would get into an activity/hobby and tend to go wild investing in everything they needed (even when they might not need it due to their experience level) A friend once told me he never buys a tool unless he needs it three times. If he finds he needed and had to borrow or rent something three times, he should have it, because it is something he obviously will use in the future. I went into curling with this mindset. Instead of going out and buy all the equipment (shoes, broom, gloves) I’d get by this time around with what I have. My bike helmet & a newer pair of clean tennis shoes. One of the members took a gripper (the thing you put on your shoe to make it so you don’t slide on the ice) and modified it a bit for me so I could slide further in my deliveries. Look out on the sheet and I’m the guy in jeans with a sweatshirt, not the one in the club jacket and black pants. I’m one of the only ones grabbing a slider (the thing you step on when throwing a stone so you can slide across the ice better. So Saturday I bit the bullet and decided I would go out and buy a broom… to me a broom was an economical way to improve my game slightly in seconds. I could use it in the next match. I was informed that a broom improves your game only slightly (I knew that) and if you want to improve you needed shoes… so I caved and bought shoes. I also knew that there is a learning curve when it comes to shoes…so they are still in the box until Wednesday, when I can test them out and fall multiple times without causing too much damage or being a laughing stock in front of the whole club.
What are curling shoes? I think I went over this before, but just in case. One shoe has a teflon sole to help you slide. You put a gripper on it when you are not throwing stones. I’ve seen it takes a bit of practice to get used to walking on ice with one slippery foot. Combined with the fact that someone had taken time and effort to modify a gripper I decided I would stick with what I was comfortable with and try everything out later this week.
I do have a recommendation for the club for next season- I was in a four week “Rookie” league. It was basically four weeks of lessons to get the basics. More intense than a single “Learn to Curl” session. The club also offers an “Instructional League” which due to our trip I could not attend. What about putting them together? Four weeks of learning and then two or three weeks of play within that group? Yes, it would be a seven or eight week commitment, but it might not be a bad thing. Teach the basics, but then teach how a league actually works more focused on playing the game, than the actual fundamentals.. I know I’d sign up for just an instructional league even though I’m already in a league. It gives you the chance to make mistakes in a safe place. You are expected to make mistakes. I couldn’t do the instructional league this time around because of Denmark.
So what does this mean for me? I learned a lot. I learned about various ways to do things, how to decide who sweeps closest to the stone, unless you have an experienced player and they do whatever they want. I try to determine which way I want the stone to curl, but still need the Skip to tell me (I’m not psychic). It was a good learning experience. The season is almost over and I see myself signing up again next season (I bought shoes), but staying away from competing in bonspiels until I feel better about my game (which means maybe never?) I can see helping out as many people from the Wednesday morning league did. It was funny to see just how many people I play with I didn’t see playing this weekend. Oh, and after many times competing in “Friendly” golf things, I’m happy to say, it isn’t anywhere near as bad as one of those. Still have nightmares over being teased about my “magic putter.”
Note: Everyone I have played has been so nice and supportive. The problem is me. Being raised in an environment in which the simplest compliment was seen as sarcasm… it’s hard to trust or believe. It’s me, not you
*This would be three days of Rookie League, one day subbing on a Wednesday morning league (so around 6-7 ends) two days actually participating in the Wednesday morning league (around 12-14 ends), and a morning practicing and getting instruction from a fellow curler (we was interrupted midway through). oh and that “Learn to Curl” I did long before COVID. When I say an “end” that would mean I had thrown only two stones.