Month: July 2023

Starting the Journey of Self Discovery

Posted on July 31, 2023 by Bruce

This week marks the first week of August which translates to my official first week of figuring out what my future will bring me. I recently said to someone I just am trying to find out after all this time what really is my core being. What is it that makes me happy, and what makes me… me. For over 35 years my career has defined me, now what? I started doing this in June and as I cross things off, I am starting to focus on a few things.

I started with a list of items that might seem strange to some but are things I like. You know the typical social media list you put together when asked to “Tell us about yourself…” For me it tends to include: comic books, drawing, MINI Coopers, games, LEGO, Geocaching, Cats, and stuff like that. I say I’m a multifaceted geek, but am I? I know I’m an introvert, who dislikes social situations. When pressed I can “Embrace my inner ‘Bob'” and play the role of the extrovert, but I really prefer spending time by myself or with those people who I feel comfortable around. If you made that list, congratulations- it is a very short list. Those who know me, know that when I’m passionate about something, and feel comfortable I become somewhat evangelical about things. How many people started geocaching, or thought about buying a MINI Cooper after talking to me?

A Banjo Ukulele? Is this something new, or old? What else did Bruce discover at GeoWoodstock?

So the first thing I did this “summer” was attend GeoWoodstock- geocaching is something I have been involved in since 2006, and while I’m not as diehard as I once was, I still kinda enjoy it. Sue is more into than I am. For me the creation of “Adventure Labs” has been what keeps me going. I no longer find that much joy in digging around thorny bushes looking for Tupperware. I do, however, like learning about new places and finding out what makes them special. Adventure labs take you around places and require that you answer questions based on your location. There’s an app for it, there are sometimes geocaches tied to them, but for the most part, walk around and look at the cool stuff in a small town and find out what makes the place special. So while geocaching itself is not high on my list, travel, and discovering new places is still there- I’d say exploring, but that word currently leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

What about MINI Coopers? I have taken part the summer to accomplish one of my first projects which was to get my Roadster redone. I own a 2012 early build (January) MINI Cooper Roadster – two seat convertible. Highly impractical, but also a lot of fun. It has a manual top, something MINI stopped making early on after complaints about how difficult it was to use- it isn’t but haters got to hate. I’d been bouncing around a lot of ideas and finally settled on something based on Dave Steven’s “The Rocketeer” one of my favorite comic books. While waiting to get this done Sue and I attended a few different MINI Club events. One put on in Fort Wayne – a drive to a haunted asylum…the other a drive to celebrate the local club’s anniversary and the renovation of the Indianapolis dealership. Afterwards I decided that there was reason I no longer did things with the local club… nothing against the people, but it just wasn’t fun. So I could check off being active in the local MINI community as a thing I wanted to pursue. I’m still looking forward to MINI Takes The States in 2024 and other MINI events, but I’m happy to keep my local MINI time to a minimum. Why? maybe it’s the introvert, maybe it’s some of the people, maybe its just looking for the right event. The asylum trip the Fort Wayne group put together was a lot of fun, I’m looking forward to seeing what else they have planned.

No longer covered in LEGO Bricks My MINI now honors the 40th anniversary of the publication of “The Rocketeer.”

Now it comes to games… something I enjoy, but definitely puts me out of my comfort zone. This week is Gen Con the largest game convention in North America. “The Best Four Days of Gaming” held in Indianapolis, it is an amazing gathering of gamer geeks from something as simple as “Sorry” to complex war games and role playing games. All of which take me to an anxiety level that will make my little stress sensor explode. Why? I don’t like not knowing what to do. I don’t like not following the rules. I don’t like making a fool out of myself. I’m uncomfortable around people. I started playing D&D when I was in middle school. I played throughout college. I did a great job of faking certain knowledge. I never read Tolkien… I still haven’t read a lot of it. I read space opera stuff. My favorite genre still is “Comedic Fantasy.” I don’t take this stuff too seriously. The “Myth Adventures” series by Robert Aspirin is one of my go to books. Terry Pratchett’s Discworld is another one that I love. My usual character is a sarcastic bard who will break the fourth wall whenever possible. With names like “Simon Garnetfunkel” or “Peter Paulenmary” I don’t take the game or myself seriously. Which isn’t always the right way to play. So I’m going to Gen Con this week and doubling down on a few things- but gaming isn’t the focus. I will be throwing myself into Star Trek Adventures (RPG) and a few other games, but mostly I’m going for the puppets.

Gen Con has a few different groups along with the gamers. One are artists, another writers, and then there are the puppeteers. So this year I decided to jump in and try out the puppet workshop. Almost all day Thursday I will be learning about puppets. How does this mesh with the introvert in me… I can hide behind a puppet. I’m not sure how this will work out I might decide at the end that I don’t like it. I may find out that I love it. Personally, I have always bee fascinated by Jim Henson and the Muppets… so as I try to figure things out- let’s see if my love of the muppets has a more prominent place in my life. At the end of the week- I’ll definitely have a better idea. I’ll be attending: The Kickoff and Make & Take, Hand Sewing for Beginners (Sue is an expert, but I don’t want to always have to bug her), Puppet Mouth-Plate Symposium, Building a Moving-Mouth Rod Puppet, Intro to Moving-Mouth Puppetry, Building a Better Hand Puppet, and Puppet Arm Rod Symposium. Do I know anything about any of this? Nope. So I’m definitely out of my comfort zone on this, and strangely excited about seeing what happens behind the curtain. Don’t worry (or maybe you should worry) I’ll make sure to do a recap after everything is said and done.

The other areas- LEGO, Comic Books, Drawing, etc. deserve more time and space. I think the thing that I’m really trying to do is focus on what I like and what I am passionate about. Partially because I don’t want to be all over the place, but also because with limited resources I don’t want to be collecting things that I really don’t care about in the end. As I start this journey, I’m know I’m going to go down some paths that will define what I don’t want to do… while other may open up some avenues I hadn’t even thought of. The bucket list of activities that just need to be checked off vs. the stuff I want to continue on for what remains of my life. Here’s to the journey, not the destination. I’ve got a lot of other things on the list as I go through the 3-6 months of just figuring things out- more on that later…

Why?

Posted on July 28, 2023 by Bruce

I’ve written and rewritten this hundreds of times. As I kept trying to figure out what pushed me over the edge… so many things that just kept piling up and I couldn’t ignore.

Why did I retire? As the school year begins so does the actual start of my “real” retirement. This summer was similar to other summers with a few exceptions. I didn’t spend any time at school. I usually would drop in once a week to work on things. I didn’t spend any money on things for school. Usually I’d take the summer to restock. I didn’t expend any effort on planning activities for my classes or worry about the new robotics season. So I guess it was the first summer I’ve had in 35 years that was “Summer.” I originally had grandiose plans to travel, but decided instead to focus on home things since I can now travel whenever I want. Why go someplace during peak tourist season? I spent some time reflecting on my decision- why retire? Why now?

There were a lot of things on the pro side of retirement and very few on the con. While I was making the decision I was angry, I felt unappreciated, ignored – every time I saw a light at the end of the tunnel and thought I could stick it out a few more years, continue to make a difference- I discovered the light was just an oncoming train. So there are a lot of reasons, but I think it boiled down to I was tired or to quote the mad prophet of the airwaves – “I’m as mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore!”

Having a Master’s Degree in Administration and not wanting to be an administrator I knew I couldn’t really do anything to enact change. Sure they’d make “pie crust promises” shout to the hilltops about their commitment to STEM & Robotics, but I had learned it was all talk. I was a lowly special area teacher, not even a classroom teacher. So I looked at the hypocrisy and decided things were not going to get better… I would just get angrier and angrier and more and more frustrated. People would smile and nod and things would either remain the same or get worse. So instead of being that grumpy curmudgeon of a teacher for the remainder of my career, I decided to take the hint given to me by the administration and admit my services were no longer needed- it was time to move on.

As I look back on my career and I’m proud of what I did. Some of my favorite memories of teaching involve the times when I had a chance to do weird stuff. Not in the approved curriculum. Turning my classroom into “World Wide Studios” and recording every project (on VHS tape)- “Turandot” and “The Great Brain Robbery” were amazing experiences for myself and especially for my kids. Giving kids complete control over the video morning announcements. Taking kids to the U.S. Space and Rocket Center in Huntsville. Weekly poetry recitations, things that weren’t part of the official curriculum, but made learning more engaging. As my career started to wind down the biggest frustration was hearing people applaud all the things I was doing and knowing that it wasn’t that special. Wasn’t as “cutting edge” as I would have liked. That if I had the chance I could have done so much more… but I was told to be content with what I had – stop complaining. I was told “Misery is a choice.”

So I lost hope that things would get better- sometime… maybe. I decided to retire instead of pounding my head against the wall. I wish my successor the best- I’m assuming that they knew before the end of the school year that they were taking over… in hindsight a lot things make more sense knowing that this was in the works long before I announced my intentions to retire. That it was planned (I’m allowed my conspiracy theory as much as the next guy). Hopefully, they will get more support than I did. Maybe my leaving will be a catalyst… (there’s that silly optimism popping in) Most of all I hope the kids get what they need to be successful in an ever changing crazy world. For me, it was time to go & now a new adventure awaits- more on that later.

Retirement Update: July

Posted on July 10, 2023 by Bruce

Since I retired from teaching at the end of May I have been keeping busy, but also trying to be cautious. I have not gone out and bought a bunch of stuff, or even traveled to far off places. I am trying to be conservative until I can figure out what the norm will be. I’ve tried to be aware that my “stop and think point” when it comes to buying stuff has shifted since I no longer have a paycheck and and won’t until the State of Indiana untangles their red tape to get my pension out to me. I have been told that August is most likely when that should happen.
I’m starting off each week by making myself a pitcher of iced tea. It seems like a good habit to get into. I’ve also tried to walk a few times a week, but due to health advisories (Blame Canada) and this being summer in the Midwest, that has not happened as much as I would like. The cats having lost one of my earbuds doesn’t help… but I still love my cats and I know the darn earbud is around here somewhere. I have gone out with some friends- something I really never did over the summer when I was teaching. These have been helpful in just understanding who I now am… I’m no longer a teacher, and I am really trying to figure out how that change impacts my sense of self. One thing I have tried to avoid is being an ever-present entity on social media. While I think I have increased my time, I’ve also consciously made sure I am not commenting on everyone’s posts, or posting meme after meme just to make sure people know I’m around.
So far I have spent a great deal of time in the “Pit of Despair” aka the basement, trying to organize 20+ years of junk that has accumulated there. Mostly, it seems that I have a lot of comic books that needed to be sorted and organized and then decisions needed to be made. It seems that I have around 8,000 comics from collecting since I was a child. I’ve gone through them once before, but not in earnest. I’m taking my comics to my favorite local shop, Comic Carnival, and giving them first go at buying what they would like. I know some people might not agree with this, but I am all for simplicity and for helping out a local small business that I want to keep going long into the future. My plan is to take the store credit I get and buy a few key “collector’s” issues to actually invest with. I know I won’t sell them unless I absolutely have to, but if something were to happen to me, I want it to be easy for someone to get the best value for the collectibles I have.

The Pit of Despair… I have moved a few things to make it less “Hoarders” like and easier to navigate around. I’m still going through things, but trying to be thoughtful as I decide what stays, what goes, and what is what.

The Pit has been on my mind for years so getting to that has been important, though slow going. Which leaves me to other projects and trying to figure out exactly what retirement will look like. I have a number of things I geek out about, so what will I focus on? Many people think about all the crazy things I did as a teacher with robots and that is one thing I’m avoiding. I’m going back to drawing, and well, just being creative. While I still think robotics is important I think I need a break, from that and school related stuff. I started by snoozing pretty much my social media feeds from any group related to STEM, Robotics, or School. As they resurface after 30 days, I’ve snoozed them again… someday I may want to go back, but not right now.
What has been on my mind (and the mind of a lot of people new to retirement I guess) is serious adult stuff like income, health insurance, and how am I going to afford this? Fortunately, Sue is still happily working, but I’m still waiting for my pension, to determine health insurance options, and to get all the various other retirement accounts in order and humming along. These all require me working with people who calmly tell me to be patient and don’t worry. While they have the experience… I have watched people burn through a lot more money than I will ever see which is why I’m not doing a lot of things, besides cleaning out the Pit of Despair and mowing the lawn.
I have gone on a few day trips- the Geocaching and Pizza Trail in Seneca County Ohio was a wonderful day trip as was starting the Aviation Trail in and around Dayton, OH. These are getting me out of the house, but also giving me a chance to do small things while I wait. I have a few plans that I’m looking forward to which will help me to understand the direction I want to take- Gen Con, Going Caching, & New York Comic Con and chance to try out a few tribes and see where I fit in.
I have always enjoyed gaming, but being anti-social and an Introvert can make it hard. Gen Con will give me a chance to play and for the first time I will be able to attend the entire four days. I’ve signed up for a few things, but am taking an entire day to play around with puppetry. They have a writing workshop and a puppetry workshop as part of the Con and I’m going to try my hand at puppets- because I’ve always enjoyed the medium. I’ll also be trying out some games, but I have found that I’m always anxious when playing a game, that I will make a mistake… which I tend to do.
I started Geocaching in 2006 after the ISTE conference and while I still enjoy it, Sue is the real cacher in the family. Going Caching is a one day (not really, but the event happens on one day) puzzle based event with a different theme each year. This year it’s based on Vikings so “Uff Da?” We are teaming up with some friends (yes, I do actually have a few of those) and we are trying to decipher the clues to figure out what we need to do. It should be a blast, but only time will tell.
I last went to New York Comic Con when I first started this strip. I went to Web Comics Boot Camp and was given some advice that I wasn’t ready for and a harsh critique of my work which I needed. This time I’m going with my brother and it will be “fascinating” since according to him, he has never attended a comic book convention ever. I was hoping to make this an annual thing with my niece and nephew, but “dad” needs to check it out first. I’m looking forward to being the tour guide fro him and hopefully get him to understand my tribe… if this is my tribe.
So what have I done to celebrate the end of a 35 year career besides clean the basement? I had plans, but until I can feel secure, I’m not doing much. I have commissioned graphics for my Roadster. They will be put on in the next few weeks and I’ll go into details with pictures sometime after that project is done. That is probably the celebration of my new found or yet to be really discovered freedom. In preparation I removed the LEGO bricks from the car, making it less noticeable to former students. In that same thought I shaved my beard. I’ve finished some drawing projects, and started more. I fixed Cecil’s chainmail for Going Caching and have attended a few more geocaching events since I took a hiatus for the hobby. I’m really taking time to discover who might have been hiding behind the guy who devoted 35 years to teaching & his classroom above everything else. Am I a geocacher? Am I a cartoonist? Am I a gamer? Am I a LEGO enthusiast? Am I comic book geek? Am I something else or an amalgam of everything? Only time will tell.