The Bucket List Challenge?

I’ve been a bit under the weather recently which has given me some introspection time and time to reflect on and reset some goals I had been working on.

Sue and I had talked about what we would do during our post work lives, and to help get things organized (this was pre-word of the year -“whim”) she bought us both a bucket list journal.  Basically a workbook to help figure out what your “real” goals are… if you haven’t seen the film “The Bucket List” I do recommend it even though it is rather depressing.  I started working on my workbook with the first exercise defining my goals in 10 different categories.  Since I was at the end of my career I could go light on things like “Professional” and while I do want to support causes I went a little light of “Giving” since, as an educator, I’d given a lot over 35 years.  From there take those goals and turn them into actual items.  “See the world” gets broken down into specific activities/places.  Mostly, for me, the “why” was important. Honesty to myself became a key part of this… why do I really want to?  While I really like my comfort zone (it’s cozy) everyday I walked into school I knew I was stepping out of it.  Retirement has made it easy to stay there, so what could I do to push myself out of that comfy, cozy place and help me be a better human being?  If you see over the past six or so months I’ve done a lot of going places and interacting, or lurking around other people.   You see, being an introvert, with very low self-esteem, it takes a lot out of me to “Embrace my inner ‘Bob’” which is to say be extroverted.  I had to do this a lot at school… people got to a point where they might have even seen me as a leader, or outgoing… nope, just an act.  Imposter syndrome runs strong in this one.

My original bucket list had about 60 things on it when the smoke cleared, a lot of travel and experiences, and a lot of “learn to…” Some were attempts to establish routines, “Draw every day” or visit my God daughter at least once a year… others were low hanging fruit- do something once, try it out, then decide if it was something that could become routine or tradition.

In 2023 I did a lot of exploration- seeing what might actually be something I would want to focus on.  I was concerned that after devoting all that time and energy into teaching, I had no idea who or what I was outside of a teacher.  I knew, I was “that weird teacher, that no one understood, or really wanted to be around.”  I was the guy who walked away the minute the conversation turned to sports scores, or sneakers, which seemed to be the only thing people wanted to talk about.  I was was passionate about teaching, but my other passions were so geeky, no one really cared to socialize with me.  One favorite memory (reminded me of when I was in high school, but that’s another story…) was the last day of school getting invited by my teaching team to go out for a beer.  I realized about halfway through that this obviously seemed to have been a regular thing with these people, and I had just never been included.  That was on me, I could have tried harder, but I didn’t like being fake… I’d grown up in Southern California and had enough of dealing with fake people in the end only to be ignored.  So, still was figuring things out- was I a Board Gamer, a Cartoonist, a LEGO enthusiast, a MINI Cooper enthusiast, a Sociopath, a… dull boring old guy?   Low hanging fruit… I went to conventions- Gen Con, Cartoon Crossroads Columbus (CXC), Power Con, New York Comic Con. I went to museums – the Strong Museum of Play Bucket List #57, the Neon Museum, the Stephen F. Udvar-Hazy Center, the Space & Rocket Center along with just small little ones.  I had a few adventures – Going Caching, GeoWoodstock, the Macy’s Thanksgivings Day Parade Bucket List #7, MINI Together.  I tried to reconnect with groups (social stuff=scary) – Geocachers, Indy LEGO Users Group, MINI Car Club of Indiana, Indy Webcomics Group.  Some of these were successful… actually, looking at it- all taught me something about myself and my relationship to each group.

So My Bucket List…

After a valiant effort my bucket list is a work in progress.  There are still a lot of low hanging fruit to pick, some things have moved to higher branches (They’re probably sour anyway).  This year we have a few things that are non-negotiable.  MINI Takes The States is one of them.  I’ve been on part of every one, why stop now?  It will also take me to places I’ve never been and give me opportunities to return to places I haven’t visited since I was a child.  Bucket List #10 find a geocache in every state in the lower 48. The route back will make this possible.  Also my older brother lives near the end, so I can visit, and see where he decided to retire. Funny thing, family is still kind of important, after all these years and everything that has happened along the way. I have learned over the years don’t get used to warm Norman Rockwell family moments.

GeoWoodstock is another adventure, more because it seems like a nice tradition to celebrate the anniversary of my retirement…. I’m no where near the avid Geocacher I was when I first started out, but I still enjoy the hobby and as long as I’m not having to deal with prickly things… These are some good people.

Sue and I both want to travel around and learn about new places.  This year we plan to visit Billund, Denmark.  For most of you the question is WTF?!? There are so many places in Europe, why an unheard of city in Denmark.  No, I’m not Danish (Sue… a bit).  So why? An interest in Hans Christian Andersen? A love of petite mermaids and ugly ducklings? “Alas poor Yorick?” Actually, Billund is the home to the LEGO Group.  Ahhhh… Now it all makes some sense.  Since leaving my part time gig at the LEGO Store I haven’t bought as much, and since leaving teaching, I’ve taken even more of a step back, I still enjoy being an Adult Fan Of LEGO (AFOL) just not enough to display, or go to meetings (Both require being social).  LEGO House has special tours throughout the year, the “Inside Tour,” and the “Fan Tour.”  The Inside Tour is three days, very intense, application and lottery to get in.  I’ve applied three times, never gotten in.  The fan tour is a single day, a long, full day.  You just have to hope that tickets don’t sell out once they go on sale.  We lucked out and were able to get a couple.  I received my Inside Tour Rejection email a couple weeks after getting my Fan Tour confirmation. There are some differences, but in actuality, not enough for me to grumble. Basically, I miss out on chatting with designers (social = anxiety), a special shopping experience (have you seen my basement?), and a unique gift (again, have you seen my basement?!?). I’m sure I’ll be fine. We’re planning to do a bit of Odense (Hans Christian Andersen’s Hometown) and Copenhagen while we’re there. Billund is Bucket List #47  as we keep coming up with more places to visit in the area (Sue’s weirdly into bog people), making it already set for a return trip sometime… if we like what we see.

This stupid sickness has kept me from a few things this week the most import to me was Bucket List #70 – Curling.  Yes, I decided to join the Circle City Curling Club’s Rookie League and after one session, I get sick.  The one thing I promise myself (even though Social Stuff = Anxiety) I will make it next week, and try to fit in some practice to make up my missed session. You see (as far as my old brain can remember) growing up, I would start an activity (usually in my case non-sportsing) and I would end up due to whatever, missing one meeting.  I rarely returned to the activity after that.  As for why curling?  Because it’s not pickle ball… and over the years I have discovered a few activities that I actually enjoy and don’t embarrass myself at- down hill skiing was one I learned in high school (many thanks to my friend Rob who invited me to join his brother and him for a long weekend at Mammoth Mountain) and just never have the chance to ski- Bucket List #67. The other one, was after a “Learn to Curl” evening a few years ago, curling.  I still have a lot to learn, and I may change my mind, but…

As for some other things… time will tell.  As I said earlier, there are some things I sadly just don’t see happening anymore.  Will they get removed from the list?  Not yet, ever the optimist, but also realist enough not to get my hopes up.  I learned when you want to share an experience with someone, they have to want to be a part of that experience.  You can lead a horse to water… or like I used to tell my students “Actions speak louder than words.”  You can tell me how important this is, how much you really, really really, want to… but if you don’t actually make time or put forth effort- it’s only words.  So my bucket list items that have something to do with “spending more time,” or doing something with someone else, have become less appealing.  Yes, I still do, but I also don’t want to drag someone along (again, high school memories… a story for another time). As for needing permission (as an adult) I’m fortunate enough that Sue’s response to most of my requests is “Is your insurance paid up?”  No guilt trips about spending too much money (she trusts my financial anxiety levels) or my guilt at leaving the poor cats to fend for themselves.

As for my word for 2024 – “whim” as you can tell I have a plan (how unwhimlike), but there is more than enough room to whim, and whim, and whim some more.