Once upon a time… When I first bought a MINI Cooper there were only a few of us and MINI catered to the idea that a small car was unique. During that time their ad folks came up with a bunch of advice for MINI owners all part of the “MINI Book of Motoring” which was handed out at dealerships to prospective owners so they would understand what they had gotten themselves into by taking that “first step into a larger world” by just looking at a MINI. I keep a copy of one in my glovebox as a reminder of those simpler times.
MINIs marketing was irreverent and dry, never being too serious and had advice and new vocabulary like “Farking Spot” which was when someone parked and was hidden from view by other cars making it seem like the spot was empty so you would get your hopes up and think you could park there. The idea was as a MINI owner you should keep this in mind and not pull all the way in, line up your boot with the surrounding cars. Other things like wear dirt as a badge of honor and Miles = Memories were ways to say “Have fun, drive and don’t worry.”
Owning a MINI meant you were off to adventure and mostly fun. I do my best to follow this holy scripture, better than many people follow the rules set forth by their organized religions. You wonder where the concept of “Whimventure®” came from? It adds the MINI concepts to times when you can’t Motor. These are just some highlights from the holy book:
The car, besides being small, was quirky and there were things you had to get used to- like the switches for the windows and locks were in the center column, not on the door. Then executives decided that they were being marked down on all important surveys for these quirks and started changing things- making MINI bigger, and moving things around so it was more “normal.” One of my favorite advertising campaigns was one of the last pushing the uniqueness of the MINI- “Not Normal.” Sadly, while MINI is still unique in some cases, the newest models are just like most cars on the road. As I have stated elsewhere, I do like the current interior with the ginormous round screen, but I really can’t tell from the outside that it’s a MINI unless I see the logo. You can’t miss the logo- it’s almost as big as a classic Mini!
During the early days MINI set up some rules, created by marketing and cobbled together from various local clubs. They also were shorthand for those found in the “Book of Motoring.” These have kind of stuck. Unfortunately, many owners don’t have a clue about them (kind of like many church goers haven’t a clue about what their religion actually is about 🤪). MINI has become successful enough that most owners think of it as a car. Something to get them from Point A to Point B (See the definition of Motoring in the MINI Book of Motoring). The concept of “motoring” has vanished. If you adopt a pre-owned MINI you may never know about the community. For those in need here are the Official Rules as presented at MTTS (MINI Takes The States) in 2022 (Cecil was added for clarity):
- Always park next to another MINI. Notice it doesn’t say “Back into the spot.” I don’t understand the importance of backing in, but to many that is also a rule. I think since back up cameras became standard it became more of a thing. Originally maybe it was to be able to drive off quickly… I’m sure there is a reason, but not compelling enough for me to participate. I just think of the times when I’d go see the Indianapolis Symphony and all the old folks would slowly and laboriously back their cars into spots… 🙄
- Wave, dammit. This can be disheartening since so many owners have no clue about the “rules.” Either that or they are on their phones. The other issue I have found is I wave to cars and then realize that it wasn’t a MINI! MINI has done such a great job making sure that the design doesn’t get dinged in surveys that I can’t tell a MINI from a Hyundai, from a KIA.
- Give your MINI a name. I have always done this, but then again my grandmother did this with all her cars. When you name your MINI it starts to develop a personality and becomes your partner in crime and one of the family. Yes, it’s “Not Normal” but that’s what MINI was all about. My first MINi was Penfold, my classic Mini is Tink, my current Roadster is Alfie although he prefers to be called Stormageddon, Dark Lord of All. Sue’s MINI is Poppy.
- No two MINIs should be alike. The MINI term is “Youification” you want your MINI to stand out in the crowd. I once owned a black Honda Civic sedan… do you know how many times I came up to the wrong car in a parking lot?
- Treat SUV drivers with compassion. This rule was before MINIs started to be as big as some SUVs. We are supposed to feel sorry for the SUV owners because they can’t possibly have as much fun as we do in our little cars zooming around them, and gas mileage. I know many Jeep Wrangler owners would argue this point.
- Put away the middle finger. “Carma” be nice to people, there is no reason to be in a bad mood if you are driving a MINI. For many of us this is so true. We get in our little car and smile as we hit the road. Every trip is fun, even if it’s just to go to the drug store to pick some aspirin.
- Embrace the MINI community. This can be difficult, but learn about the MINI groups around you and online. When my brother bought a MINI the first thing I told him to do was find out about the club nearby. I recall my first experience with a car club. It was Sue’s Honda S2000 and everyone involved was a guy, and all they talked about was their cars. They wouldn’t talk to her, since she was a “girl.” I had to keep pointing them in her direction since I rarely drove the car and knew very little about it. My first MINI club meeting we talked about life, (and our MINIs) but everyone there was treated the same. It was right before the first Mickey & MINI and we were all excited to head down to Florida. Now it has to do with online groups and MINI events around the country. Yes, I missed MINIs on Top to go to a comic book convention.😱
- Find a copilot who’s ready for adventure. For the most part I have Sue, but when she thinks what I’m about to do is too silly, or she has other things to do (work) I have Cecil. Yes, my copilot is a stuffed monkey, but that monkey has been on more adventures than most people and having a stuffed monkey as a copilot is definitely “Not Normal.”
- Admire your MINI. I like to add – admire other MINIs too. It’s all part of the Youification thing, your MINI is yours, and someone else has made their MINI uniquely theirs. I have seen a multitude of MINIs and each one is different and amazing.
- They call it #37. Always be ready to rally. This is the core of whimventuring. Since the Monte Carlo Rally in 1964 Mini (the car was #37) has had a “Rally Heritage” that we should embrace. Be ready to hit the road at a moments notice, you never know when an opportunity my come up.
Are there other “Rules”? Everyone has added or changed them. Unfortunately, like having a large menu, at a restaurant it gets confusing. Sometimes it’s hard to remember which ones to follow, and we sometimes forget. Gordon Ramsey’s first act when he swoops in to save a failing restaurant is usually to make their menu smaller and easier to navigate. So 10 rules is fine, if we all know and follow them as best we can. If you go to a large MINI event you’ll see most people following these and other obscure rules.
I know, I know… What about ducks? There are some MINI owners out there who like to put ducks on other people’s MINIs. This is a way to say “Hi!” “I like your MINI” “quack” or whatever. While it is a Jeep thing, according to many, a MINI owner started it. Ummm… sure, fine, whatever. Even if that is the case Jeep is doing a much better job at it, along with the Wave (See Rule #2). While driving home from North Carolina I saw multiple Jeep Wranglers with windows filled with ducks… I didn’t see a single duck on a MINI. Should we stop? No, you be you. If it makes you happy, go ahead. If you get mad because people say it’s a “Jeep Thing” maybe MINI should invest more in PR, but I don’t think they really care. People might get angry over who started it (See Rule #6). In a time of “Alternate Facts” the winner writes the history books (or bans them). This is a battle I don’t choose to fight, but I find it amusing to poke the bear when people start getting really serious about it.
The best response I heard from someone when it comes to ducks was “Google it!” Like the Internet is ultimate proof. You google “Ducks on cars” and every link and AI assist gives you stuff about Jeeps and some person in Canada who “started” it. I don’t know, like I said and I don’t really care. I know there are many who do, which is why I bring it up. Yelling about it won’t change the fact that Jeep seems to do the duck thing better.
Next Steps?
I suggest we all start with a personal focus on one rule that we can do without worrying about anyone else. I don’t care which rule it is… For me, It will be #2 Waving. I have a friend who always gives a peace sign ✌️. For me I will do my best to give the Vulcan “Live Long, and Prosper” sign 🖖. I know I will forget sometimes, but with MINI Takes the States coming up I should have a lot of practice. Of course the sad part is not getting a wave back. There’s nothing I can do about that, just be happy I spread the joy, the “logical” joy of owning a MINI and not being normal.
Mostly, You should make friends along the way. It starts with a simple wave. You may find people who you wouldn’t normally hang out with who are awesome people and the only thing you have in common is MINI. Just remember there is probably only one thing that doesn’t fit in a MINI- that’s politics, especially in this day and age. See Rule #6. One thing all MINI owners can agree on is that the MINI (no matter how much bigger they make it 🙄) is an awesome car.
MINI Takes The States 2024 is coming up and if you are attending it’s a great time to get into practice following the rules and becoming a better Motorer. People will wave, people will park and gather, people will duck, and button, and sticker, and whatever… MTTS is uniquely MINI and an awesome opportunity to motor with other like minded “Not Normal” individuals. If you happen to be along the route… look out for us- “We’re all mad here.” 🤪